What do you do when there is a writer's strike #4

Since the writer’s strike continues I was at church today and found enough material to write installment #4 of what you do when there is a writer's strike.

This week was not a typical week. You see last Sunday evening the president and prophet of our church passed away. Yes it was a sad event but also a happy one. You see he lived to be 97 years old and served up until he passed away, so he lived a full life. I say a happy time though more for him then anyone else. You see he now gets to be reunited with his sweet loving wife who passed away in 2004.

Now the first Sunday of each month is what we call fast and Testimony meeting, it is where members of the congregation can get up and bear their testimony with others. The standard Testimony meeting has tears, smiles, laughs, reflection, and the occasional winces when someone over shares. This meeting though was a bit different with the recent passing of our beloved leader who was adored and respected throughout the world. We also had a lot of kids get up and share their testimonies, for those kids that were a bit nervous there is always someone to help them through it. Today the biggest helper was not parents but a little girl that was more than happy to help her friends share. There was also one parent who got up holding her little girl who started to choke herself as a way to signal to mom, "hey times up, say Amen and lets go...."

But never fear just because there was a higher level of emotion and more people being reflective than perhaps on other Sundays it doesn’t mean that all children have suddenly decided to behave and become the picture of angelic perfection.(sorry to all your parents out there who were hoping that might happen) It also doesn’t mean my attention was so riveted I was not able to find some entertainment in my surroundings. I mean the writers strike is still happening after all.

So today I tried a little something different and took my life into my hands and sat int the 3rd row from the back and was in the action a bit more. I say I took my life in my hands not because of the chaos I had placed my self in the center of but because I removed myself from the back row and I still wasn't sure if there was some official proclamation saying singles must sit on the back row. But hey no lightening strikes, crashes of thunder and the building was still standing. Phew that was close..

So now onto the entertainment portion of the day. How many of you are familiar with the carnival game called “Whack-a-mole”? I am sure most of you have seen it where the little animated critter pops its head up and you brutally bash it down with a mallet, and the person who bashes the most wins the game. Well I think there is a new version of the game taking place every Sunday at church called “grab that child” which I eluded to in last weeks installment. Now the great thing about this game is there is no real rules, well okay there are rules but only the children know them and they are under a strict “not tell “ policy where adults are concerned. Don't worry there is not any hitting of the children, well except by other children.

So here are a few variations on the game I saw being played today.

-While parents are distracted by the people bearing their testimony make a break for it. This can be done by simply walking or crawling away towards the closest open door, crawling under the pews or chairs, jumping over the row in front or behind you, or getting voluntarily handed off to another unsuspecting adult.

-For those children that have siblings or whose parents are unwise enough to sit by other families with children (Which is almost impossible to avoid) there is a tag team version. One or two children distract the nearby adults, and if you think small infants are not part of this game guess again, they are the best little distracters out there. Now this can be done in a number of ways.
There is the more in your face tactics like
-screaming like you have been dismembered for no good reason.
-Having a diaper blowout. (this is more of the “in your nose tactic”)
-Projectile spit up.
-Throwing toys and hitting people 3 rows up, so parents have to mouth apologies and then sit a little lower in their seats

Then there are the more subtle and gentle tactics:
-look at what I drew/colored/made for you.
-Can I have a snack?
-I need to go potty.
-I need a drink of wawa.
-I need to blow my nose (there are those boogers again).

Plus the list goes on as I am sure you are all aware.

Once the distraction has occurred and the child has made the break for it is where the real game begins. Parents try to grab the kids without having to actually get out of their seat and chasing after them. Then there is the grab by other parents than the hand back to the real owners of the child, with the child kicking and screaming the whole time.

Another game that came to mind today while sitting there was "Memory". Basically this is played by all age groups. The kids have to try and remember where their family is sitting after they wander off. Then there are the parents that have to remember what their own kids look like since they could have as many as a dozen different kids that come to visit. One family decided to mark their kids and place paper hearts on their foreheads. (yes Ginnie I saw that).

As always food plays an important role. The snacks range from goldfish, cereal, pretzels, fruit snacks, granola bars, cookies, crackers and the like. some parents can't decide what to bring so they throw a little bit of everything in the bag. I call it lazy but I guess if I had kids I would see it as genius. :) For the kids whose parents don't bring snacks they make sure to grab a fistful of bread as the sacrament tray passes, and then there are the ones that grab the water and spit it back out into their cup and pour it over the rest of the tray. Yea yummy huh?

It seems like most of the kids today had the wiggles, and were very vocal, singing their own versions of the hymns when they felt the spirit move them. I didn't see one little boy no matter the age able to sit still today, well that is until one particular child showed up. This adorable little boy with his big bright blue eyes and his little faux-hawk, has the most serious look on his face and sits so quietly, he puts all the other kids to shame and most of the adults too..... But while he sat silently eating his cookie and drinking his little yogurt the rest of the kids were practicing their kleptomaniac moves. They will take anything from anyone from books, to makers, coloring books, food, and toys. It is actually rather amusing to see how the kids react when something has been taken from them or they get busted during a heist. Some have got some real skills and who knows where it will take them. Now don't go thinking the parents are not trying to control their pack of thieves, they just strategically disguise it as showing affection and locking them in a bear hug, which to an outsider looks like a great show of affection but to the budding klepto it feels more like a straight jacket,,,,

But the highlight for me was when Cole pointed to me and said "EWWWWWW" not one or twice but three times, can you feel the love? I sure did…

If you missed the previous answers to the writer strike you can find them here.


Episode #1

Episode #2

Episode #3

I would also like to thank just a few of those that have made this entertainment possible
So thanks in no particular order to the Skinner’s, Johnson’s, Milmont’s, Orr’s, Hall’s, Stratton’s, Flinders, Maxwell’s and Bunker’s. For those I might have missed I apologize.