Time to start the Christmas 2008 Story
Please turn to Susie, Chapter 1:1-19
1. And it came to pass that on the 20th day of the 12th month in the year 2008, The young uber stylish girl Susie was on the arduous journey home to Portland Maine from the Great Salt Lake City. When she should have been filled with Joy, she found herself wrought with frustration and anger.
2. For it came to pass that her journey into the wilderness of Maine caused a lay over in the kennedy airport in NY where she now found herself stuck.
3. Susie lacking of sleep, was greatly distraught when her flight was cancelled by unholy delta airlines, sought counsel from her wise and loving family.
4. Susie went in unto the long lines of Delta, and she talked with many unhelpful people, and distraught found she was now stuck in this great and spacious, yet over crowded airport, And she began to be exceedingly sorrowful.
5. Susie found herself being humbled and with a lowly heart as she called the great Chell to asketh her to come save her from the Great and spacious, and highly over crowded place she now found herself trapped in.
6. Now I being born of the same Father as Susie, felt compelled to go forth and helpeth to rescue my baby sister from the great and spacious airport in which she was now trapped for what would be days on end.
7. Faithfully, but without proper preparation I jumped in the car to start my journey northward. I having faith that I, my cellphone, and my trusty GPS would be able to located the distraught Susie in the overcrowded area called Kennedy Airport in NY.
8. And it came to pass that, the Great Chell was able to locate the distraught Susie in said airport. And whilst Susie was freezing and lacking energy after many hours of being stuck in line due to before mentioned Unholy delta airlines, and with nothing more than the clothes on her back there was a little rejoicing as she climbed into the warm car. But it came to pass that sadly her luggage was trapped in the immovable belly of the beast known as an airplane. Being exceedingly tired, but full of faith Susie continued her journey northward by car.
9. And it came to pass that the traffic in NY was great and there was numerous others on the road. Making our journey progress slowly.
10. And it came to pass I and my sister were able to rejoice in each other’s company and share many stories about boys and life in general.
11. And it came to pass Susie found herself exceedingly sorrowful that she had no garment which to wear to church the following day. Susie knowing that only the store known as WalMart would be open to purchase such a garment, when she finally reached Maine became increasingly concerned for her own vanity. And she made an oath not to allow her pride get in the way of her finding something to clothe her body in so that she could attend church the next day.
12. After some time traveling, Susie having been traveling for many hours, and not wanting to spend $7 for a cracker found herself to be starving.
13. I not wanting my sister to suffer any longer than she had found the great golden arches where we stopped for a much needed potty break and more needed “nourishment”.
14. And it came to pass Susie, after filling her belly with greasy food from the great golden arches, was over come with sleepiness and drifted off to slumber, only to be interrupted by the texts from friends… and the GPS system we nicked named Mikey, who was very annoying at some parts of the trip…
15. As we drove further into the land known as Connecticut it became clear that the people of this once great land had either lost favor with mother nature or were being punished for some unspeakable act and had all their snow plows taken away. The roads were covered with that white stuff known as snow, and causing traffic to move increasingly slower. And it came to Pass Mikey continued to be frustratingly annoying.
16. Whilst there was No weeping, wailing or gnashing of teeth, there was some Slipping, white knuckling of the steering wheel and heavy use of windshield washer fluid.
17. We eventually passed through this forsaken land and still journeyed unto the car of our father which was waiting in the parking lot of a holiday in Express.
18. And it came to pass weary and slightly tired of driving our travels brought us to that Holiday Inn. There was rejoicing and hugs for the 33.3 seconds I saw my father and stepmother whilst we swapped the precious cargo known as my baby sister.
19. And it came to pass they tarried on northward to the home of our father in the place known as Augusta Maine, and I journeyed to my cousin’s apartment in the place known as Cambridge Mass, where I would welcome some much needed sleep.
Now let’s turn to the Book of Ryan Chapter 1: 1-8
1. And it came to pass that even though Susie had completed her journey to Maine I still needed to complete my journey home.
2. And it came to pass I was able to see the wise and wonderful nugget head living in Cambridge, also known as my cousin Ryan.
3. I arrived and we journeyed around the streets to find a parking space in the snow that had fallen and covered the ground. It was exceedingly difficult but we finally found one.
4. And insomuch as we searched the channels for something to watch we settled on a rerun of SNL.
5. And it came to pass I soon found myself very sleepy after much driving and drifted off to sleep in the warm and comfortable bed my cousin prepared for me.
6. I awoke in Cambridge to find they had more snow then when I had gone to slumber the night before.
7. And it came to pass I decided I had better get back on the road and journey home.
8. Wherefore Ryan and I tarried to find my car which was covered with snow, I returned his parking pass and started out on my journey home.
And now please turn to the book of Chell Chapter 1:1-8
1. And it came to pass as I journeyed out of Cambridge I came across the campus of Harvard, it was exceedingly white from the snow and exceedingly beautiful. I was sorrowful I did not have my camera with me.
2. It came to pass I made my way through the streets of Cambridge and made my way to the highway.
3. And it came to pass after many miles in Massachusetts I entered the forsaken land of Connecticut once again and conditions had worsened from the evening before and it SUCKED!!!!
4. Many cars in this land lost there way from the road and found themselves stranded and often upside down. The snow plows from this land were still missing and a blizzard had commenced.
5. And it came to pass I tarried long to return home, and it was no fun. Once leaving the forsaken land of Connecticut things were uneventfull.
6. With much rejoicing I made it home in time to celebrate an early Christmas with my family.
7. I was exceedingly joyfull to see Santa had shopped at B&H for me this year, and brought me a shiny new lens.
8. Wherefore it is with a conflicted heart I prepare for the dreadful return to those same roads again tomorrow…
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